My neighbor passed away last night. She was the 54 year old mother to my daughter's best friend and she is gone. She wasn't sick, she didn't have an incurable disease or give us any warning. She went in for a routine surgery to repair some muscles in her arm - and she died three days later.
It is easy to let the day go by and not be sad because honestly, I hardly ever talked to her and now...I feel sad about that. As we all are, I was so busy living my life and making sure I was in the right places and doing the right things that I feel like I didn't take the time to check in with her nearly enough. After Taylor went to school and both of our girls were gone, I was so busy trying to sort out my life and I didn't take the time to think that maybe she wanted to talk or needed a friend. I know this sounds like one of those emails that you get and delete because you are sick of hearing it - but you don't get a second chance sometimes.
Tonight I was sitting at my desk putting together a slideshow of a life that I really knew very little about. I think what is making me cry now is that looking at all these pictures of my neighbor, I realize that we had more in common than I ever realized. We were both moms, with moms that we loved and children that mean the world to us. We both sent our children away to college and struggled with the new life alone without them and wanted what was best for them out there. I am lucky enough to have my mother to go to for moral support and advice. She lost her mother a couple of years ago and I'm just now finding out how horribly sad she still was about this. Her husband works nights and she was really so very alone right across the street from me. I managed to fill up my evenings with dance and friends and new hobbies and I didn't invite her or take the time to see how her journey was coming along.
I don't have a clever wrap-up because I'm sort of crying and typing as this emotional outburst was a little unexpected tonight. What I think I'm trying to say is simple - take time to be interested in those around you and don't take time for granted. I am deeply saddened for this family left behind and wish that I had more comforting words for them. I wish I had taken more time to talk to Tracy and know more about her but I just didn't. I listened...but I didn't hear. Why? Because she talked too much or she told long stories or...who knows. What I know is that our street is going to be a lot quieter and a lot less interesting without her presence. She was one of a kind but I think that deep down she wasn't that much different than the rest of us. I will do my best to teach her daughter the things I think she would want her to know from here on out...but I wish I didn't have to.
